Saturday Januray 23, 2010

I did not write last night because my grandmother was admitted to the hospital for congested heart failure, but they later said it was not that but something different. They are thinking it is a hernia that is pressing against her chest cavity! Last I heard from the Nathan, who is sitting up there with Granny, she is doing better. She is breathing better and even though still kinda weak she is doing much better. I made a promise to God that if he let her live just a little while longer I would star taking my diet more serious. Okay here is the truth about the diet. I did go to the weight watchers, but I have had a few moments of weakness. I broke down yesterday and and bought a cheeseburger and some fries. I had some pancakes yesterday and this morning. Okay question: I have always been told to eat a big breakfast and a small dinner. But recently I was told to eat 3 small meals and some says 6 small meals. So my question is this: Which is better for someone trying to loose weight? Well I guess that is one for a doctor. Speaking of doctors. I recently found out I have anemia and low blood pressure! As well as low blood sugar! But I still need to loose weight and I need to learn to get off my butt and exercise more, go for walks. maybe what I should do is have pact with myself and Steve! Keep a log of all the exercise I do and when I walk so many miles and do so many push ups or whatever I need to do, and then I can treat my self to a sundae at Culver's or something like that! Well that something I need to sit down and talk with Steve about. Next week Steve says I can pay for weight watchers program. I can not wait! I am going to loose the weight! You know there is this real pretty dress that someone gave me and I put it aside and said one day I will fit into that. What I should do is have that dress hanging on the back of the bedroom door so I can remind myself of what I need to do! I wonder if my aunt has a picture of me when I was younger! Boy I can remember when I has small waist line. I can remember when I could walk several miles without feeling exhausted or my back hurting or hurting anywhere for that matter. I use to love to walk, I use to love to ride my bike. With our income tax return, if we get any back, I am buying me and Steve both a bike! I will ride it everywhere I can! I am going to start walking to the college, which is a few blocks from my house, everyday! I can take Max with me, maybe this will also help me get that dog leash trained! I have been lying to myself all these years, telling myself I can start loosing the weight next month, I will never be over 300 pounds. Now here I am and I weigh almost 400 pounds! And I am not proud of it! I have this long mirror in my room and when I look at myself in the mirror I am disgusted with the way I look. I can not understand how Steve can look at me little lone have sex with me. But he says he loves me and he will support me while I am dieting! I am going to do this, not just for myself, but for God as well and for Steve. Of course there is those beautiful children in Brazil who need me to be healthy! Okay God I will do as you tell me and loose this weight as well as be a great role model for your little children! Well until next time....I hope to see some comments on here. I need suggestions on food portions and so forth! Later!