Tuesday March 30, 2010

With tomorrow being my 40th birthday I am a bit ecited and a bit nervous. I know this means that I am older but I do not feel it. Even though I am over weight I feel I am in good health and tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and I will then find out for sure what kind of health I am in. I do not have much planned tomorrow and I am looking forward to a nice quite day tomorrow. Well this sis all for now.

Wednesday March 24, 2010

Yestersay my son and I reached a new level in our relationship. He and his soon to be wife and her children want to come and see me. They are driving up Thursday to spend the weekend with us. I am trying so hard to change things in my life. I wonder life would be like if everyone could be happy all the time. You see in a week I will be 40 and even though some may look at it as getting old I do not. It is only a number. My age does not bother me, it is the way I look. And even though I am trying to loose the weight I sometimes find myself slurging and eating junk food like I was before weight watchers. I am kinda getting lazy again. What am I doing to myself. Part of me want to loose wieght but the other part is scared to loose it. Can I really do it? Will my life be diffrent? Will I be diffrent? How will my life change once the weight is gone? Mostly what scares me is the attention I will bring to myelf. People who know me and people who don't know me will look at me diffrent. That too scares me. Well maybe I should see a therpist for that. Well I am going to keep my head above water sorta speak and try to stay on the diet.

Saturday March 13, 2010

I am sorry I have not posted in a while. I started a new carrer at the end of Feb and have been busy getting it up off the ground. Today I will be going to weigh in for the 1st time in almost 3 weeks. If it was not the busy schedule it was something else. For about 2 weeks I was fighting a real bad cold or maybe it was the flu. I am not sure which, I just know I was fighting this thing and between the fever and not being able to breath I lost a lot of sleep. Plus Steve has been working so much these past weeks trying to make sure we had moeny for rent and other things too. We kicked out our roommate becuase of the lack of rent she was paying us. Along with other reason which I a just not in the mood to go into. I pray that we won't fall beind in any bills. They riased his child support again and we will be lucky to get $100 each week. They still have not hired him on premenant and I am being to think they are not going to. What is taking them so long. I will post more after I get back from weighing in. Today is going to be a cleaning day since Steve has the weekend off! Okay well I lost a tenth of a pound since I last wieghed in. Well I am retaining water this week plus I have not gotten out to get any excerise! Well Next week will be a diffrent time!

Saturday Feb 20, 2010

OH WOW! I can not believe I have lost a total of 11.2 pounds. How did that happen! I mean I am surprised with myself but at the same time I am so proud of myself! I have been calling people all morning, well not all morning. I did take a nap. I kept seeing those pounds walk away from me in my sleep and I hear GOD tell me how proud He is of me! Now here is one, I called my mom and she said those words I never thought I would hear her say, that she was proud of me. Hear I am almost 40 years old and the 1st time in my life she says she is proud of me. I have done things in my life that makes others proud of me and it takes me loosing weight to make her proud of me! WOW this day has been a day to remember! I have not told Steve yet, but only cause he is working. But I know he will be proud of me. I can not wait to tell him. I love bragging on myself. It may sound a bit coincided but I feel I deserve this. Anyone who has struggle with weight or any kind of problems in their life time and has a milestone as I have deserves to brag! I wish Nathan was talking to me so I could tell him! I know he would be thrilled for me! Anyway I won't talk about him, I can not let myself get down! I hear Satan trying to tell me that I am fat and always will be but I also hear GOD telling me He is proud of me and keep up the good work! I only have 231.4 pounds to go until I am at my goal weight! I am very excited about the weight loss. I think joining weigh watchers was an excellent decision. I have becomemore aware of what and how much I eat! WOW! I still can not believe it! I hope it is not a dream!

Saturday Feb 13, 2010

WOW, I LOST 3.6 LBS! I am so excited about that! I had a great week. Found another cool way to excerise when it is too cold to walk. You see max, my dog, loves to wrestle and I am also in the middle of obedance tranning. I love that dog! Anyway i get abou the same amount of exceise wrestling for 10 min than I would walking for 5! Intersting, right? I bought a yoga mat, well for pilates. I was doing it at one time, but lost track of it! I want to get back into. When i did it before my posutre was better and I felt better! Well I did not have much back problems! Well I got a pilates video and a excerise ball that I bought at a yard sale in the summer time! Okay I am so ready for spring! I am buying a bike, and so is Steve! We will be riding our bikes all over the place, well mostly me! I can not wait til then! Wish I could afford one now! All I can do is look around for one! We will see!

Monday Feb 08, 2010

Well i slept passed brakfast this morning. I am not very hungry today for some reason. I guess a lot of it has to due with the amount of food I ate yesterday. I do feel guilty though, but today I am not eating anything but fruits and veggies. I had a nice salad and a banana and a can of pinapples for lunch! For dinner I will have another salad and another banana. Don't have anymore pinapples so I will probaly have an orange or a grapefruit! Don't think I will have much to drink today, maybe a glass of water here and there! We will see what happens! Valentines Day is only 6 days away! I can't wait to then. I am not sure what he has planned but Steve has already told his boss he can't work that day.....it is on a Sunday anyways!
Well I just had dinner. I wind up eating a lean steak sandwhich on low fat wheat bread. I used 8 points for dinner I think, now I think I am going to have a nice giant fudge bar.....no worries it a weight watchers bar.

Sunday February 07,2010

Okay I went over my limit today! In a way I am kinda ashamed of myself, but in other ways it was a party and that is what the extra points are for! No matter what I am fasting tomorrow and Tuesday too! Nothing but fruits and veggies! I have plenty of fruits and veggies to eat. Veggies like Spinach, Romain lettuce, mustard greens and fruits like bananas, oranges, strawberries and grapefruit. I made sure I had enough too and just in case I need a quick sugar fix I have some weight watchers snack cakes and brownies! But I am not even going to think of that stuff! Well I made a new friend today, well a few of them really. I have somone to go wxcwrise with. They told me about this place that they have on tuesdays, which is okay with me, now i can go back to wednesday night weight watchers meeting again or go to saturdays, which ever. Anyway these people are very nice and one of them has 3 beautiful kids which i offered to babysit anytime they needed one and of course so did Amber! Persoanl, if it was me, I would rather a a person with experince watching my kids that a flighty college student and I am sorry to say that but it is true in some ways. Even she has admitted to being a bit flighty at times. She is a good kid and all but she is always late and no matter how much you push her she forgets thinks and looses things. She has misplaced her credit card twice since she has lived here and her house key a few times and recently she mis placed her cell phone! Okay I know we all have been a bitflighty at times but not this much. I have never in my life ever been late any where or any time! That is the way I raised, plus she is very messy and i have threanted to start chrging her if she did not start cleaning up after herslef! Well I think that kinda helped some we will see!! I can not wait to see my new friends again!
Anyway I am looking forward to next sunday