march 9, 2011

At some point in life everyone looks back at and wonders what if. How many times have I done that in the past 10 years I cant not begin to count. Next month I will be married 10 years to the same person and as I look back on our life together I have noticed that the romance has gone away. I mean yes every now and then he does something that is so sweet that it makes my head turn but then again I have also noticed that there was some kind of hint or 'someone' had to point him in the right direction. For valentines day I made him a very romantic meal, with a big romantic scene. Music flowers and candles. I have now doubt that he loves me and I know he is committed to me 100% but sometimes it feels like he is just existing in the marriage. Anyway I am not really compiling just wondering is all. I will be 41 at the end of this month and I just started looking at things in my life differently lately. i am even trying to find out where my heritage beings. I stated tracing my ancestry a few days ago and I have found that my dad's parents are hard to trace. I found records of the births of their children and of my grandparents deaths but for some odd reason i can not find their birth records. And on my mom's side I have found that my grandmother grandparents were distant cousins. How nasty is that. That sure explains why most of the people in my family are messed up in the head. I also found out, even though i knew it already that my grandfather's mother was murdered by some guy who had just been realized a few weeks earlier from a psych ward. He went in to the store she was at and killed her and 2 other people. And all he got was 5 years in a psych ward. I am contiuing my quest to find where my family tree starts and if thier is any famous people in our family tree. Wouldnt that be cool!