Wednesday March 24, 2010

Yestersay my son and I reached a new level in our relationship. He and his soon to be wife and her children want to come and see me. They are driving up Thursday to spend the weekend with us. I am trying so hard to change things in my life. I wonder life would be like if everyone could be happy all the time. You see in a week I will be 40 and even though some may look at it as getting old I do not. It is only a number. My age does not bother me, it is the way I look. And even though I am trying to loose the weight I sometimes find myself slurging and eating junk food like I was before weight watchers. I am kinda getting lazy again. What am I doing to myself. Part of me want to loose wieght but the other part is scared to loose it. Can I really do it? Will my life be diffrent? Will I be diffrent? How will my life change once the weight is gone? Mostly what scares me is the attention I will bring to myelf. People who know me and people who don't know me will look at me diffrent. That too scares me. Well maybe I should see a therpist for that. Well I am going to keep my head above water sorta speak and try to stay on the diet.