Tuesday March 30, 2010

With tomorrow being my 40th birthday I am a bit ecited and a bit nervous. I know this means that I am older but I do not feel it. Even though I am over weight I feel I am in good health and tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and I will then find out for sure what kind of health I am in. I do not have much planned tomorrow and I am looking forward to a nice quite day tomorrow. Well this sis all for now.

Wednesday March 24, 2010

Yestersay my son and I reached a new level in our relationship. He and his soon to be wife and her children want to come and see me. They are driving up Thursday to spend the weekend with us. I am trying so hard to change things in my life. I wonder life would be like if everyone could be happy all the time. You see in a week I will be 40 and even though some may look at it as getting old I do not. It is only a number. My age does not bother me, it is the way I look. And even though I am trying to loose the weight I sometimes find myself slurging and eating junk food like I was before weight watchers. I am kinda getting lazy again. What am I doing to myself. Part of me want to loose wieght but the other part is scared to loose it. Can I really do it? Will my life be diffrent? Will I be diffrent? How will my life change once the weight is gone? Mostly what scares me is the attention I will bring to myelf. People who know me and people who don't know me will look at me diffrent. That too scares me. Well maybe I should see a therpist for that. Well I am going to keep my head above water sorta speak and try to stay on the diet.

Saturday March 13, 2010

I am sorry I have not posted in a while. I started a new carrer at the end of Feb and have been busy getting it up off the ground. Today I will be going to weigh in for the 1st time in almost 3 weeks. If it was not the busy schedule it was something else. For about 2 weeks I was fighting a real bad cold or maybe it was the flu. I am not sure which, I just know I was fighting this thing and between the fever and not being able to breath I lost a lot of sleep. Plus Steve has been working so much these past weeks trying to make sure we had moeny for rent and other things too. We kicked out our roommate becuase of the lack of rent she was paying us. Along with other reason which I a just not in the mood to go into. I pray that we won't fall beind in any bills. They riased his child support again and we will be lucky to get $100 each week. They still have not hired him on premenant and I am being to think they are not going to. What is taking them so long. I will post more after I get back from weighing in. Today is going to be a cleaning day since Steve has the weekend off! Okay well I lost a tenth of a pound since I last wieghed in. Well I am retaining water this week plus I have not gotten out to get any excerise! Well Next week will be a diffrent time!