Saturday Feb 20, 2010

OH WOW! I can not believe I have lost a total of 11.2 pounds. How did that happen! I mean I am surprised with myself but at the same time I am so proud of myself! I have been calling people all morning, well not all morning. I did take a nap. I kept seeing those pounds walk away from me in my sleep and I hear GOD tell me how proud He is of me! Now here is one, I called my mom and she said those words I never thought I would hear her say, that she was proud of me. Hear I am almost 40 years old and the 1st time in my life she says she is proud of me. I have done things in my life that makes others proud of me and it takes me loosing weight to make her proud of me! WOW this day has been a day to remember! I have not told Steve yet, but only cause he is working. But I know he will be proud of me. I can not wait to tell him. I love bragging on myself. It may sound a bit coincided but I feel I deserve this. Anyone who has struggle with weight or any kind of problems in their life time and has a milestone as I have deserves to brag! I wish Nathan was talking to me so I could tell him! I know he would be thrilled for me! Anyway I won't talk about him, I can not let myself get down! I hear Satan trying to tell me that I am fat and always will be but I also hear GOD telling me He is proud of me and keep up the good work! I only have 231.4 pounds to go until I am at my goal weight! I am very excited about the weight loss. I think joining weigh watchers was an excellent decision. I have becomemore aware of what and how much I eat! WOW! I still can not believe it! I hope it is not a dream!

Saturday Feb 13, 2010

WOW, I LOST 3.6 LBS! I am so excited about that! I had a great week. Found another cool way to excerise when it is too cold to walk. You see max, my dog, loves to wrestle and I am also in the middle of obedance tranning. I love that dog! Anyway i get abou the same amount of exceise wrestling for 10 min than I would walking for 5! Intersting, right? I bought a yoga mat, well for pilates. I was doing it at one time, but lost track of it! I want to get back into. When i did it before my posutre was better and I felt better! Well I did not have much back problems! Well I got a pilates video and a excerise ball that I bought at a yard sale in the summer time! Okay I am so ready for spring! I am buying a bike, and so is Steve! We will be riding our bikes all over the place, well mostly me! I can not wait til then! Wish I could afford one now! All I can do is look around for one! We will see!

Monday Feb 08, 2010

Well i slept passed brakfast this morning. I am not very hungry today for some reason. I guess a lot of it has to due with the amount of food I ate yesterday. I do feel guilty though, but today I am not eating anything but fruits and veggies. I had a nice salad and a banana and a can of pinapples for lunch! For dinner I will have another salad and another banana. Don't have anymore pinapples so I will probaly have an orange or a grapefruit! Don't think I will have much to drink today, maybe a glass of water here and there! We will see what happens! Valentines Day is only 6 days away! I can't wait to then. I am not sure what he has planned but Steve has already told his boss he can't work that day.....it is on a Sunday anyways!
Well I just had dinner. I wind up eating a lean steak sandwhich on low fat wheat bread. I used 8 points for dinner I think, now I think I am going to have a nice giant fudge bar.....no worries it a weight watchers bar.

Sunday February 07,2010

Okay I went over my limit today! In a way I am kinda ashamed of myself, but in other ways it was a party and that is what the extra points are for! No matter what I am fasting tomorrow and Tuesday too! Nothing but fruits and veggies! I have plenty of fruits and veggies to eat. Veggies like Spinach, Romain lettuce, mustard greens and fruits like bananas, oranges, strawberries and grapefruit. I made sure I had enough too and just in case I need a quick sugar fix I have some weight watchers snack cakes and brownies! But I am not even going to think of that stuff! Well I made a new friend today, well a few of them really. I have somone to go wxcwrise with. They told me about this place that they have on tuesdays, which is okay with me, now i can go back to wednesday night weight watchers meeting again or go to saturdays, which ever. Anyway these people are very nice and one of them has 3 beautiful kids which i offered to babysit anytime they needed one and of course so did Amber! Persoanl, if it was me, I would rather a a person with experince watching my kids that a flighty college student and I am sorry to say that but it is true in some ways. Even she has admitted to being a bit flighty at times. She is a good kid and all but she is always late and no matter how much you push her she forgets thinks and looses things. She has misplaced her credit card twice since she has lived here and her house key a few times and recently she mis placed her cell phone! Okay I know we all have been a bitflighty at times but not this much. I have never in my life ever been late any where or any time! That is the way I raised, plus she is very messy and i have threanted to start chrging her if she did not start cleaning up after herslef! Well I think that kinda helped some we will see!! I can not wait to see my new friends again!
Anyway I am looking forward to next sunday

Satueday February 06, 2010

Today ends another week on the weight watchers program and I have caught myself getting a bit lazy! However I will try my best to improve things, including my exercise! How will I begin this week? Well tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and I am making some turkey chili, stuffed mushrooms, mozzarella sticks,cornbread and crackers for the chili, cheese dip and tortilla chips and I am thinking of serving hot dogs or some kind of sandwich too! Maybe some Philly cheese steak sandwiches! Now I have 35 extra points to use on top of the 44 daily points, I am just wondering if I will wind up using some of my 35 extra. I hope not all! We will see how things go! I will write more tomorrow or Monday morning depending on when the game ends!

Wednesday Feb 03, 2010

My life really stinks sometimes. I was given 2 handsome boys whom I love very much! I was not a very good mother to either one of them. I became a mother before I was ready and tried to grow up while I left them with relatives, mostly my mother and brothers. Which was a big mistake. They both had issues while they were growing up and both of them ended up in jail at least once! I think I would have to say Nathan had it the hardest. When Phillip died in Aug 2006 he was in jail and I don't think he ever got passed that. Nathan places blame on everyone around him. Sure I was not always there for him and sure I screwed up my life and his , but why blame me for all his mistakes. Yes I made mistakes in my life but do I point the finger at all those who hurt me and tell them it is their fault, no! Okay I didn't have a great childhood or a great life and as I told him he has not seen or gone through half the stuff I have. And he knows this too! Tonite he pulled and all time low on me, he did not just delete me from his friends list but he calls me up and rubs it in my face. Says I can not call him at all or any member of my family and he will make sure of that. Of course as my aunt said he does not control what the rest of the family says or does. Why does he do things and says thing that hurt me. He knows how it makes me feel. Maybe that is it! I love that boy and have tried to be a mother and a friend to him. tried making up for whatever I did wrong in the past! But I think he blames me for Phillip's death and is punishing me for it. I cant say what it is but Nathan told me something in secret and he thinks i told someone else. I did not, not really! I only told someone about what he was saying about his hurt back and how he says he does not need pain killers. That boy is full of it or of himself! Times like this I wish I could call Phillip up and talk to him. He would call his brother up or go over to his house and and yell at him and maybe kick his butt! I am praying for a miracle from God! I worry about Nathan, he has dropped out of school and thinks the world owes him, mostly me and the rest of the family! What in the world can we do to make him grow up. I am so scared that his attitude will put in in jail or worse!

Monday Feb 01, 2010

After fighting a cold for week I must have caught a bit of the stomach flu/virus! Have been up all night with stomach issues! I have been good about following my weight watchers diet! They give you so many points per day plus and extra 35 a week if you want to splurge on something, like a chocolate cake or something like that. Not that I am or anything. Execpt for the weight watchers snake cakes I have not eaten anything like that in a very long time! The thing is I get 44 points a day and i am lucky if i use 30. I think I went passes 30 once or twice. One day I used only 15. Next Sunday the 7th is Super Bowl Sunday and I am looking foward to it. I found a low calorie turkey chili that I plan on cooking on Super Bowl Sunday! Plus I am making some stuffed mushrooms! WOW I can not beleive how musch one can eat for very little points!